Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Tony LaRussa Just Happy He Didn’t Wake Up Next To A Fatty

ST. LOUIS, MO – Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa, discussing his recent arrest for driving under the influence, told the press today that he was “just glad that something horrible didn’t happen, like someone being killed, or waking up next to a fat chick.” When asked to clarify his comment, LaRussa said, “I think it’s pretty clear what I mean. You think it’s bad waking up with your car running, try doing it next to some uggo who’s stroking your hair and telling you she loves you. I’m not saying I’d rather kill a kid, but I will bowl right over a pet if that was my other option.”
Public outrage over LaRussa’s comment was immediate. “This is just disgusting,” fumed Paige DeLucca, head of the St. Louis chapter of Mothers Against Drunk Driving. “For Mr. LaRussa to say that negates the terrible impact that DUI’s can have on families. If I could tell him anything, I would tell him that what he’s said has hurt our cause incredibly. That, and this: ‘big girls need love too.’”

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