WASHINGTON D.C. – Gilbert Arenas showed up to practice for the Washington Wizards today with both hands in casts, the result of two broken thumbs police believe were inflicted by one of the fans with whom Arenas had a $10 bet that he would score 50 points against Portland Trailblazers. “We believe that Mr. Arenas failed to pay one of the fans he made a bet with the debt of $10, and as a result this individual broke both of Gilbert’s thumbs,” said police Officer Steve Remy. The fan in question, choosing to remain anonymous, told reporters “I’m not saying that I did anything, I’m not saying I didn’t. I’m just saying that if I were owed $10, and someone wasn’t paying, I might have to use a car door to make sure he understood just how badly I wanted money for a couple of fast food meals.”
For his part, Arenas remained ambiguous about the whole affair. “Nah, it’s not even like that. I just…um…fell down the stairs,” remarked Arenas. “I can’t make anymore bets anyway, I’m out of cash. Honestly, have you seen me? Sure, we laugh at the $20,000 I bet a teammate that I could make more three pointers, but I can’t stop! The other day I bet a dude the same amount that I could hold my breath for ten minutes, then I made a double or nothing bet that dragons were dinosaurs! Hey, speaking of which, I bet you I can say word without vowels. Come on, give me a chance to make something back.”
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