VATICAN – Don King recently visited the Vatican in order to see Pope Ratzenberger in person, and also noted that the visit was one of business as well, as the longtime fight promoter announced plans to book a bout between Pope Ratzenberger and former World Heavyweight Champion Mike Tyson. “I’m excited for the unshakeable and unbreakable excitement from the potential pugilism between these two,” King told reporters. “In one corner, you have the former Champion, the most dangerous man to throw a punch who’ll eat your ear for Lunch, Mike Tyson. In the other, the leader of the Catholic world, his high hard hitting heavy handed holiness, Pope Ratzenberger.”
Pope Ratzenberger seemed less excited about the potential matchup. “I have no desire to fight anyone. In the church, we learn to seek to solve our problems not with violence, but with the love each man should have for his fellow man. We turn the other cheek, a prospect which frankly terrifies me, largely because I don’t want that man anywhere near the side of my face.” Ratzenberger did add, however, that “But if he wants it, then he can bring it. The church took on the whole Muslim faith, as well as family courts in all 50 states. We’re not scared.”
Tyson, on the other hand, expressed enthusiasm about the prospect of fighting the leader of the Catholics. “Oh I am most definitely ready to fight, and kill that man. Hell, look at me, I’m training in Vegas hotel lobby, I’ll do anything for money. I’ll fight the Pope, Muhammad, Mr. Wizard, whoever. Hey, you got 20 dollars? I’ll rent out ad space on my face? Look, right here behind the right jaw, it can all be yours!”
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