Detroit, MI – Following a free agency period that saw them broker a major deal that sent Pro Bowl cornerback Dre’ Bly to the Denver Broncos in exchange for running back Tatum Bell, offensive tackle George Foster, and a fifth round pick, the Detroit Lions are excited to have filled so many perceived needs, giving them the opportunity to disappoint fans on draft day in ways that could not have previously been foreseen. “I’ve got to say, I was a little worried when we entered the off-season having so many holes to fill, because that made pretty much any pick we were going to make a smart one,” said second-year Lions head coach Rod Marinelli, “but with this deal, I think we’ve all but guaranteed that come draft day, we’ll be firmly in the running to wildly disappoint out fans.”
Roy Williams, starting wide receiver for the Lions, shared his coach’s relief at the news. “I’ll be honest with you,” added Williams, “it would be a bad look for coach Marinelli’s second draft to come out well. Our fans expect draft failure from us, and I’d hate to see their security blanket taken away. I mean, if we don’t blow our draft pick, then who’s to say what’s certain anymore? I wouldn’t be surprised if the sky turned green and we all started floating into space.”
Infamous Lions GM Matt Millen has already begun preparations for what he says will be “a remarkable crash and burn” on April 28th. “To be honest, I don’t know what to do, but it’s nice to feel like my hands are untied so I can more capably shoot myself in the foot.” As for how he’d use his second overall pick, Millen remarked “Well, we’re not sure, but I will say that we’re thrilled by the chance to draft Brady Quinn, which I think has the greatest potential for total catastrophe. I mean, the only thing more disappointing than drafting Joey Harrington is doing it twice, right?”
Despite all the draft talk, some players feel that the team is overlooking the present impact of the recent trade. “Personally, I think that fans are missing the real point of this deal,” noted new Lions running back Tatum Bell. “This is a team that just traded away one of two players that mean anything for a bad pick, a washed up lineman, and myself, a running back that got replaced by an undrafted rookie midseason. What I’m saying is that fans don’t need to wait for draft day, because there’s plenty of disappointment to go around right now!”
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment